I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
