Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
