Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i barfeds in our rink
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
