I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
