If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
