i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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