At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
it's great music for shaving your balls
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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