HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
