New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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