Whatcha textin bout Willis?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
