Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my being single is dangerous.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
