I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
