And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
