He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
porn star boner night. come get it.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
