i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
