She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
