Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
