just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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