I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
