In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
