I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
