i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
