The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
