She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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