I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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