if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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