Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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