haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize