its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
