is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
