we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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