trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She announced her abortion via fbk
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
