He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize