There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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