i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
