I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
