if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
