im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
