Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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