So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
