I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
what day is it and did you see me today?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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