i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
