SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
