Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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