He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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