he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
