Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
