who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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