sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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