when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
