just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
