I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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