happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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