hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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