I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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