She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
