Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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