i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
